This episode of Life by Design is told as a series of stories – not to show how far I’ve come or how far I still have to go, but as fodder for your own reflections, understanding, acceptance, and self-love.
One Step At A Time:
I was heading up to my room last week, when I passed by my housemate sitting at her computer. As my foot landed on the first step, I heard my inner critic make a comment about the way she was typing. As I moved onto the next step, I was beating myself up for being judgmental. My inner grumbles obviously had nothing to do with her. After all, nothing has meaning but the meaning you give it – and today, I can’t even remember what nonsensical meaning that was. By the time I reached the third step, I noticed how hard I was being on myself, and invited a moment of silence to simply breathe. By the time I got to my room, I was fully conscious of the fact that I mustn’t be feeling loved if I could project that lack of love onto the world outside me. Indeed, I have come to accept that the world, or rather my perception of it, is simply a mirror of my internal state.
So I sat down, gave myself a hug, smiled, and talked to myself lovingly. I also remembered that I am unconditionally loved by Source and even by certain human beings. 🙂 I also chose to change the station, from that fear-based ego-centered inner critical voice that obviously isn’t me (but a combination of negative voices internalized throughout my life) to that of the one who was able to observe all that was happening in a calm and loving way – the Higher Self, or conscience if you prefer. I was able to transform my inner reality from a harsh non-loving one to a loving one – for self first and then others. I’d say from beginning to end, all that happened within the space of a minute.
Loving Takes Practice:
I wish I was always that fast at switching gears. More so, I wish I could live in a constant state of self-love, which would naturally become unconditional love for others. I’m not there yet, and that’s OK. With decades of conscious practice, it comes much more naturally than it used to.
Denial:
There was a time when I actually denied the fact that I lacked self-love. I remember being on the Inner Voyage Caribbean cruise in 2000 – an amazing spiritual workshop cruise with many of the leaders of the time. When I wasn’t attending workshops or socializing, I was doing my photography homework for a correspondence courses with the New York Institute of Photography. Bliss! Investing in this experience may not have been the most financially wise decision I’ve made in my life (according to some in my environment), but I was so glad I had listened to my Guidance. I needed it. I had just experienced the most stressful year of my life – one that had tested my ability to stay strong for another and function in the world despite the fears and pressures around a situation that was completely out of my control. Once the crisis was over, I needed a break. I needed an intensive dose of love and beauty to fill my soul and strengthen my inner resources. It worked.
One evening, somewhere between Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, I was consulting an intuitive healer about my eczema, a skin problem that I’ve had to varying degrees since infancy. At one point, she told me that I had serious self-love issues. I reacted, saying that I was probably the most self-loving person I knew. I defended by giving examples, such as following Guidance, and coming on this cruise. I put up quite the self-righteous fuss – I denied it. I chuckle now as I write this.
Listen Up!:
Three years later, my Guides felt it necessary to speak up – literally. I was at a silent retreat in Nova Scotia after my ex-husband and I lovingly decided to part ways. This was one of three retreats I had planned that summer before moving to Calgary to do my Masters. It was an informal retreat that had no schedule except for a daily meeting with a spiritual adviser and a set dinner time.
One early morning, I woke up upon hearing another resident leaving the house. My inner critic immediately started beating myself up for not being the first one to shower, eat, and get out of the house for an early morning walk by the ocean. I know! Seriously! It’s not much fun in that head of mine at times… can you relate? (Note: I found out last week that this is normal for those with the “Achiever” theme – see last book in previous post).
Anyhow, I was really going at it when I heard a voice, loud and clear in the room (one of three times I can remember in my life when my Guidance came through audibly). I can’t remember the exact words, but it was something like “You’re perfect as you are”. The tears welled up, and I fell into a deep sleep for another few hours, probably waking up last in the center.
Perfectionism:
It had become clear that the intuitive healer on board the Inner Voyage cruise was right – I had serious self-love issues! For one, I was a perfectionist.
“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” ~ Michael Law
Indeed, I was so focused on the potential judgement of others and on wanting their approval that my ego reveled in its role as my worst critic. I was only beginning to realize that “I” was the other voice – the one that could say to the ego “yes, dear, I hear you, but I choose otherwise – I choose love”.
Sure, I excelled at many things and my reputation for doing great work grew, but at what cost?
The unrealistic expectations I placed on myself became expectations I placed on others. I was strictly goal oriented and not only forgot to enjoy the journey, but sometimes made that journey unpleasant for others. Although I could be very loving and nurturing in roles of leadership, I wasn’t a good team player. My expectations of peers made it impossible to be fully present and loving.
“There is no disappointment or anger in Real Love”
Dr. Greg Baer
Tuning Into the Body for Signals:
This became very clear to me when I was doing my Masters of Education in Calgary. Although my focus was English as a Second Language, I filled my roster of optional courses with offerings from the Spirituality and Leadership branch of the department. I even conducted an action research study during one of my internships that helped me become conscious of every moment I went from love to fear in the classroom – an extension of the Vipassana meditation training I had taken the summer before. While part of me was teaching the class, another part was keeping track of feelings of expansion and contraction within my body. I would take mental or written notes and then journal about it afterward.
I came to realize that I was great at doing teaching (putting together a fun, success-oriented class for students), but that every time someone asked a question (especially a grammar question), my insides would tighten. I was afraid that I wouldn’t know the answer. More importantly, I was afraid that this distraction would take me off schedule and that they wouldn’t have the chance to experience that aha moment of learning that I had planned after presenting them with a challenge. Sure, part of it was about the fear of losing control, but mostly, it was the fear that they would leave before the moment of truly understanding and learning (which would indicate failure on my part).
There is simply no room for love when fear takes over.
Perception:
I learned a lot during those 2 years. The greatest confirmation of that was when I received the results from my final paper / presentation on the being vs. doing of teaching: “A Lesson in Being: One Teacher’s Spiritual Journey in the MEd TESL Program”. Three professors sat on the jury that would decide whether or not I would receive my Masters of Education. One wrote that my work was exemplary of what all Masters students should strive for, and that if a grade could have been given, I would have received an A+. The next professor gave me great feedback and was very pleased. The third professor, however, wrote that he had nearly failed me – something to do with self-absorption (so the equivalent of a D). The exact same paper received marks from one end of the spectrum to the other. Perfect! I smiled as I recognized that the Universe was smiling with me – I had successfully learned that others’ judgments had nothing to do with me, but with their own perceptions and criteria for success. Although passing was important for my career, the most important factor was my own journey through the whole experience and knowing that I was now not only a better teacher, but a more loving being – inside out.
What is Self-Love?
I have grown a lot in my practice of unconditional love through the work of Dr. Greg Baer (www.RealLove.com). He teaches that the only way we can be unconditionally loved by others is to be seen and accepted for who we truly are – not for our masks. This is why it’s so important to be authentic with others. It would seem natural to say, therefore, that the only way we can truly love ourselves is by seeing and accepting the truth of who we are – of being honest with ourselves – in all our vulnerability. I’m not denying my self-love issues anymore (obviously, if you’ve been following my blog!) … Carl Jung said:
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
When we realize, however, that we aren’t the ego – we aren’t that inner critical voice, but rather that loving observer beyond that – it’s not so terrifying at all. As written in the Course of Miracles, “The ego is your belief. The ego is a confusion in identification”.
“You will identify with with what you think
will make you safe.
Whatever it may be,
you will believe that it is one with you.
Your safety lies in truth,
and not in lies.
Love is your safety.
Fear does not exist.
Identify with love, and you are safe.
Identify with love, and you are home.
Identify with love, and find your Self.”
This channeled text also advises:
“Seek not outside yourself.
The search implies you are not whole within.”
**
The Journey to Self-Love Continues:
My ego has been very vocal lately. I’ve come out of my hermit mode to join a community of thousands in B-School on a challenging, yet rewarding journey. My determination to live a life of passion and purpose is strong. So are my fears. Luckily, every day offers me opportunities to grow in love – with myself and others.
In the Worlds of Charlie Chaplin:
“When I started loving myself”
– A poem by Charlie Chaplin written on his 70th birthday on April 16, 1959 –
When I started loving myself
I understood that I’m always and at any given opportunity
in the right place at the right time.
And I understood that all that happens is right –
from then on I could be calm.
Today I know: It’s called TRUST.
When I started to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
When I tried to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time is not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I know: It’s called LETTING GO
When I started loving myself
I could recognize that emotional pain and grief
are just warnings for me to not live against my own truth.
Today I know: It’s called AUTHENTICALLY BEING.
When I started loving myself
I stopped longing for another life
and could see that everything around me was a request to grow.
Today I know: It’s called MATURITY.
When I started loving myself
I stopped depriving myself of my free time
and stopped sketching further magnificent projects for the future.
Today I only do what’s fun and joy for me,
what I love and what makes my heart laugh,
in my own way and in my tempo.
Today I know: it’s called HONESTY.
When I started loving myself
I escaped from all what wasn’t healthy for me,
from dishes, people, things, situations
and from everything pulling me down and away from myself.
In the beginning I called it the “healthy egoism”,
but today I know: it’s called SELF-LOVE.
When I started loving myself
I stopped wanting to be always right
thus I’ve been less wrong.
Today I’ve recognized: it’s called HUMBLENESS.
When I started loving myself
I refused to live further in the past
and worry about my future.
Now I live only at this moment where EVERYTHING takes place,
like this I live every day and I call it CONSCIOUSNESS.
When I started loving myself
I recognized, that my thinking
can make me miserable and sick.
When I requested for my heart forces,
my mind got an important partner.
Today I call this connection HEART WISDOM.
We do not need to fear further discussions,
conflicts and problems with ourselves and others
since even stars sometimes bang on each other
and create new worlds.
Today I know: THIS IS LIFE!
***
Painting: “I’ve Got Your Back”
/in PaintingsThis painting was born from a state of desperately needing to reconnect to Source, to Support, to Purpose, to Love during a period when I’m spending 10-16 hours a day learning and building my new website. I get overwhelmed and scared much too easily when it comes to technology.
So I took Easter Sunday off the computer to dive back into the creative realms that nourish me on so many levels.
Can you feel the energy that was channeled through this blessed image?
It spent the whole next day beside me at the computer and my eyes sought it often as panic and frustration mounted.
It reminded me to breathe and connect on a moment by moment basis. Very empowering!
I’m glad to say I’m in a much better space now because of it (although still only making baby steps towards my goals). Still, it’s progress. Thank you dear God and Guiding Spirits, Angels of Light and Love. I know you’re here – all I need to do is remember to ask for help.
We only need but ask…
*
“I’ve Got Your Back” – 15″ x 30″ – acrylics on gallery-wrapped canvas (no framing required)
Original – Sold. See Prints in my online shop.
May this painting bring you whatever message you need to hear today.
Intuitive Sparks: AANL Painting Workshop
/in EventsLayer after layer, their worlds evolved. From playful mark-making to harmonizing, these explorers tapped into their creative source to expand their inner and outer worlds.
As you can see, everyone took their creations in very different directions. It was such a blessing to watch how people learned the principles of a painting approach and interpreted it with their own creative voice. That is such an important part of the learning process – it’s not about copying my style, but adding to their own repertoire of skills. As you can tell, they all listened to what their canvases or inner guidance asked and let the creative sparks fly. Note: some of these are still works in progress.
If you’d like to try this out by yourself, I’ve explained the whole process with lots of photos in my free Guide to Intuitive Painting.
Thanks ladies for a fabulous day of intuitive and creative play!
“Side by Side” – the painting
/in PaintingsNote: the photo does not show the reflective nature of some of the colours – this painting shimmers live and looks different from different angles.
The Final Day (almost):
What a blissful day on Sunday – I had decided to take a complete day off B-School to paint (and sing) – and that’s just what I did. I didn’t even check our 2 B-School Facebook Groups (they do get addictive…).
I started very early in the morning with Kirtan music (Sanskrit chanting) and switched to 50s and 60s music after lunch. I never did get around to taking my shower (not a common phenomenon!)…
After a late afternoon walk with a friend in Bowring Park (where I delighted in the endless parade of dogs of all kinds and sizes) and a bowl of healthy mung bean stew, I headed back to the studio and kept working late into the evening.
When I saw number 444 on my camera, however, I understood my guides were telling me it was enough for one day – it was already past 10pm and I’m usually in bed at 9. Plus, I was starting to get annoyed with myself – not a space to paint in.
The next morning, I woke up to the blizzard outside and my morning meeting cancelled, so I continued working on my painting for a little while before wiring and varnishing it.
The Creative Process:
I have had such an amazing time with this painting since the last Studio Sneak Peek. I invite you to join me in that creative process today. If you’ve missed the previous 2 posts and want to experience the progression from the start, you can access 1) “Love, Beauty & Mystery” by clicking here and 2) “Yinning and Yanning” here.
After finishing work on the couple, including the dots following the hairlines,
I like to use the highest grade of professional acrylic paints available for a reason. I’m reminded of the importance of that each time I visit my parents and see one of the faded paintings I made in the early 90s. It’s still beautiful, but some of the colours have disappeared. I’ve learned a lot since then.
Then I dove into Zentangles® in the corners. I’ll confess, I was listening to one of the audio books for B-School that day and while my left brain was busy with that, my right brain got lost in the meditative trance of pattern making. I had originally thought of just making a small pattern with ample space around the circle and around the edges, but as you can see, I got carried away and went all the way from the corner to the circle.
With dark against dark the circle lost its power. No worries. There are no mistakes in intuitive painting. So out came the pearl and white. I liked that and decided to balance the results with patterns in the opposite corner, but not as heavily there.
Great! After looking at it for a while, I decided to grace the couple with a halo. This representation of unconditional love naturally glowed. 🙂 I used zinc white for this because, unlike Titanium White, it’s transparent. I went around the circle twice before adding rays of Titanium white lines. Remember, you can click on an image to see it larger.
I then decided to empower the painting with one of the sacred sigils I developed in Vienna (learn how in a previous post).
How many times have I said there are no mistakes in intuitive painting? Well, there aren’t. After spending the afternoon working on these symbols (and even signing it), I realized that they pulled the eye in all directions. The painting was much better (visually speaking) without them. Just look at these side by side. Do you see what I mean?
So I spent the whole evening starting the process over in those two corners- warm colour marks, followed by cool colour marks, followed by a gold glaze to unify. Here’s where I understood advice I once heard – take notes. I couldn’t tell which of my 3 golds I had used in the previous glaze…
It wasn’t quite right – too orangy and too flat. I compared it to my early shots and much preferred it before. So more mark-making to bring some of the magentas in and another couple of glazes – violets and golds (2 kinds). In total, there are about 10 layers of paint on top of those two sigils, but if you look very carefully at the live painting, you can still see their texture – wonderful! Their energy is still there, even if their visual representation has been covered up.
What this last part process reminded me, however, is that it’s no use wanting to go back in time and try to recreated the exact same results. Attaching to the way things were only brings misery (isn’t that so true in relationships as well?).
The painting has evolved. It’s different – it’s not really a case of better or worse. It just is – and I love it!
What about you? Does this painting or process speak to you? How? Feel free to comment below.
Buy Original and Prints.
Life by Design: Self-Love
/in Inspiration, Life By DesignThis episode of Life by Design is told as a series of stories – not to show how far I’ve come or how far I still have to go, but as fodder for your own reflections, understanding, acceptance, and self-love.
I was heading up to my room last week, when I passed by my housemate sitting at her computer. As my foot landed on the first step, I heard my inner critic make a comment about the way she was typing. As I moved onto the next step, I was beating myself up for being judgmental. My inner grumbles obviously had nothing to do with her. After all, nothing has meaning but the meaning you give it – and today, I can’t even remember what nonsensical meaning that was. By the time I reached the third step, I noticed how hard I was being on myself, and invited a moment of silence to simply breathe. By the time I got to my room, I was fully conscious of the fact that I mustn’t be feeling loved if I could project that lack of love onto the world outside me. Indeed, I have come to accept that the world, or rather my perception of it, is simply a mirror of my internal state.
So I sat down, gave myself a hug, smiled, and talked to myself lovingly. I also remembered that I am unconditionally loved by Source and even by certain human beings. 🙂 I also chose to change the station, from that fear-based ego-centered inner critical voice that obviously isn’t me (but a combination of negative voices internalized throughout my life) to that of the one who was able to observe all that was happening in a calm and loving way – the Higher Self, or conscience if you prefer. I was able to transform my inner reality from a harsh non-loving one to a loving one – for self first and then others. I’d say from beginning to end, all that happened within the space of a minute.
Loving Takes Practice:
I wish I was always that fast at switching gears. More so, I wish I could live in a constant state of self-love, which would naturally become unconditional love for others. I’m not there yet, and that’s OK. With decades of conscious practice, it comes much more naturally than it used to.
There was a time when I actually denied the fact that I lacked self-love. I remember being on the Inner Voyage Caribbean cruise in 2000 – an amazing spiritual workshop cruise with many of the leaders of the time. When I wasn’t attending workshops or socializing, I was doing my photography homework for a correspondence courses with the New York Institute of Photography. Bliss! Investing in this experience may not have been the most financially wise decision I’ve made in my life (according to some in my environment), but I was so glad I had listened to my Guidance. I needed it. I had just experienced the most stressful year of my life – one that had tested my ability to stay strong for another and function in the world despite the fears and pressures around a situation that was completely out of my control. Once the crisis was over, I needed a break. I needed an intensive dose of love and beauty to fill my soul and strengthen my inner resources. It worked.
One evening, somewhere between Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, I was consulting an intuitive healer about my eczema, a skin problem that I’ve had to varying degrees since infancy. At one point, she told me that I had serious self-love issues. I reacted, saying that I was probably the most self-loving person I knew. I defended by giving examples, such as following Guidance, and coming on this cruise. I put up quite the self-righteous fuss – I denied it. I chuckle now as I write this.
Three years later, my Guides felt it necessary to speak up – literally. I was at a silent retreat in Nova Scotia after my ex-husband and I lovingly decided to part ways. This was one of three retreats I had planned that summer before moving to Calgary to do my Masters. It was an informal retreat that had no schedule except for a daily meeting with a spiritual adviser and a set dinner time.
One early morning, I woke up upon hearing another resident leaving the house. My inner critic immediately started beating myself up for not being the first one to shower, eat, and get out of the house for an early morning walk by the ocean. I know! Seriously! It’s not much fun in that head of mine at times… can you relate? (Note: I found out last week that this is normal for those with the “Achiever” theme – see last book in previous post).
Anyhow, I was really going at it when I heard a voice, loud and clear in the room (one of three times I can remember in my life when my Guidance came through audibly). I can’t remember the exact words, but it was something like “You’re perfect as you are”. The tears welled up, and I fell into a deep sleep for another few hours, probably waking up last in the center.
It had become clear that the intuitive healer on board the Inner Voyage cruise was right – I had serious self-love issues! For one, I was a perfectionist.
Indeed, I was so focused on the potential judgement of others and on wanting their approval that my ego reveled in its role as my worst critic. I was only beginning to realize that “I” was the other voice – the one that could say to the ego “yes, dear, I hear you, but I choose otherwise – I choose love”.
Sure, I excelled at many things and my reputation for doing great work grew, but at what cost?
The unrealistic expectations I placed on myself became expectations I placed on others. I was strictly goal oriented and not only forgot to enjoy the journey, but sometimes made that journey unpleasant for others. Although I could be very loving and nurturing in roles of leadership, I wasn’t a good team player. My expectations of peers made it impossible to be fully present and loving.
This became very clear to me when I was doing my Masters of Education in Calgary. Although my focus was English as a Second Language, I filled my roster of optional courses with offerings from the Spirituality and Leadership branch of the department. I even conducted an action research study during one of my internships that helped me become conscious of every moment I went from love to fear in the classroom – an extension of the Vipassana meditation training I had taken the summer before. While part of me was teaching the class, another part was keeping track of feelings of expansion and contraction within my body. I would take mental or written notes and then journal about it afterward.
I came to realize that I was great at doing teaching (putting together a fun, success-oriented class for students), but that every time someone asked a question (especially a grammar question), my insides would tighten. I was afraid that I wouldn’t know the answer. More importantly, I was afraid that this distraction would take me off schedule and that they wouldn’t have the chance to experience that aha moment of learning that I had planned after presenting them with a challenge. Sure, part of it was about the fear of losing control, but mostly, it was the fear that they would leave before the moment of truly understanding and learning (which would indicate failure on my part).
There is simply no room for love when fear takes over.
Perception:
I learned a lot during those 2 years. The greatest confirmation of that was when I received the results from my final paper / presentation on the being vs. doing of teaching: “A Lesson in Being: One Teacher’s Spiritual Journey in the MEd TESL Program”. Three professors sat on the jury that would decide whether or not I would receive my Masters of Education. One wrote that my work was exemplary of what all Masters students should strive for, and that if a grade could have been given, I would have received an A+. The next professor gave me great feedback and was very pleased. The third professor, however, wrote that he had nearly failed me – something to do with self-absorption (so the equivalent of a D). The exact same paper received marks from one end of the spectrum to the other. Perfect! I smiled as I recognized that the Universe was smiling with me – I had successfully learned that others’ judgments had nothing to do with me, but with their own perceptions and criteria for success. Although passing was important for my career, the most important factor was my own journey through the whole experience and knowing that I was now not only a better teacher, but a more loving being – inside out.
I have grown a lot in my practice of unconditional love through the work of Dr. Greg Baer (www.RealLove.com). He teaches that the only way we can be unconditionally loved by others is to be seen and accepted for who we truly are – not for our masks. This is why it’s so important to be authentic with others. It would seem natural to say, therefore, that the only way we can truly love ourselves is by seeing and accepting the truth of who we are – of being honest with ourselves – in all our vulnerability. I’m not denying my self-love issues anymore (obviously, if you’ve been following my blog!) … Carl Jung said:
When we realize, however, that we aren’t the ego – we aren’t that inner critical voice, but rather that loving observer beyond that – it’s not so terrifying at all. As written in the Course of Miracles, “The ego is your belief. The ego is a confusion in identification”.
This channeled text also advises:
The Journey to Self-Love Continues:
My ego has been very vocal lately. I’ve come out of my hermit mode to join a community of thousands in B-School on a challenging, yet rewarding journey. My determination to live a life of passion and purpose is strong. So are my fears. Luckily, every day offers me opportunities to grow in love – with myself and others.
In the Worlds of Charlie Chaplin:
“When I started loving myself”
– A poem by Charlie Chaplin written on his 70th birthday on April 16, 1959 –
***
More Eye Opening Entrepreneurial Books
/in InspirationI am so typically myself, I crack myself up – I say with a serious face… B-School started on Monday. My goal had been to finish all the books on Marie Forleo’s recommended list before the start of classes, which I almost did. I still had 2 left though and simply couldn’t bring myself to start something new before finishing what I had started. So although I watched her 6 videos as an overview of the first module and all the work ahead of me this week (while rebounding), I just had to finish all 12 books before really diving in – because that’s what I told myself I would do…
Eye-Opening:
I’ve never paid much attention to business news or even world news, for that matter. Needless to say, therefore, I’ve learned so much! This intense immersion into the world of big-hearted successful entrepreneurs who are making a positive difference in the world has definitely opened my eyes and my heart. I’m thinking bigger than I did before, even if I can’t even begin to imagine their kind of impact coming from what I feel moved to create in my life. I’m not even sure I’ve got what it takes to be an entrepreneur… but that’s probably just fear talking. Eye-opening and confusing can co-exist in my world.
Another 6 Books:
I wrote about the first 6 books on Marie’s list in a previous post. Here are the ones I read / listened to after that.
**
Two Books by Richard Branson:
Sir Richard Branson‘s 2 books kept me entertained for more than 21 hours this past week. He had a lot to say. I don’t think I had ever heard the name of this English billionaire and founder of the Virgin group of companies (over 400 of them!) – if I had, it hadn’t stuck. Truth be told, that’s not surprising.
Being one of those people who doesn’t listen to the news, I know that I’m not very globally aware. Frankly, however, I’m quite amazed that I wasn’t more familiar with the Virgin brand, except for a vague recollection of a red logo on a poster in the bus one day- I think it had to do with their mobile phone service as I was in the market for one. In this world of over-consumption and visual and information overload, I confess I’ve often chosen to stick my head in the sand. It was more peaceful that way.
But what this man has accomplished goes way beyond changing the way businesses are run. He’s made a huge impact on the welfare of the planet and its inhabitants. Did you know he was the driving force behind the foundation of the independent group of global leaders called The Elders? I didn’t even know it existed, but listening to stories about his conversations with Nelson Mandala and other global leaders moved me.
7. In “Business Stripped Bare: The Adventures of a Global Entrepreneur“, he basically told the story of his entrepreneurial life (through the voice of a less-than-convincing British voice actor) – which started at the age of 15. The book is filled with stories about the various Virgin companies and why they were created. I’m certainly going to pay more attention to Virgin companies from now on – I like what they stand for. I like what they do for people – inside and outside the company. This book is all about success and making a difference – and he’s a master at both.
This book has reaffirmed that I am more of a manager/technician than an entrepreneur, but it was super helpful to hear about the spirit, mindset, ups and down, etc. of something so huge – way beyond what I want to do.
8. In “Screw Business as Usual“, he spent more time on the social good that individuals and companies can make on the global scene. He explains that
I really enjoyed listening to this one – not only because the voice actor was much more convincing, even if he had a North American accent. By the end of it, I simply felt happy there were people in the world like Richard Branson (more and more of them)- and dumbfounded at how much one person can accomplish in one lifetime… with the help of many, of course. What leadership!
9. “Tribes” by Seth Godin
His name was familiar, and although I see he’s given 3 TED Talks, I don’t think that’s why the name rang a bell. Oh well, no matter. This is a great book on leadership that was inspiring to listen to. I’m not the most social person – I’m an introvert who loves my alone time. I find social media and much to do with crowds overwhelming. But I know the power of like-minded groups of people getting together to empower each other and make a difference in the world. I really felt this when I lived in Saskatoon. I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants to make a difference..
In “Tribes”, Seth Godin reminds us that the whole being burned at the stake for being heretics thing is over and done with and that we need to own up to what is calling us – to become leaders. That was exactly what I needed to hear. “The only thing holding you back is your own fear – not easy to admit, but essential to understand”.
**
10. “Business Model You – Alexander Osterwalder & Yves Pigneur (and Co-created by an amazing crowd of 470 practitioners from 45 countries).
You can download a 72-page preview of the book at the link above. They describe it as “A handbook for visionaries, game changers and challengers.”
Again, this book is much more than I’ll likely need for the micro-business I’m creating, but it did help me find a bit more clarity on what and how I’ll offer my art & inspiration to the world.
The greatest gift this book has given me is an understanding of the 9 building blocks to any business: customer segments, value propositions, channels, customer relations, revenue streams, key resources, key activities, key partnerships, and cost structure (in a very visual way – perfect for me as an artist). Alas, being a successful artist is going to take so much more than just painting in my studio. It’s true, I’ve done a lot more than that for the past 26 years of being a professional artist, but not nearly enough.
What was really cool is that the morning after I finished reading this book, I received experiential proof of how it has helped me in my understanding of how businesses work. After booting up the computer, I was immediately faced with 2 invitations, one about some technological advance and offering by Firefox and the other by Wiki for teachers. I found myself responding with curiosity, openness, and knowledge instead of reacting with my usual suspicion, annoyance, and dismissiveness (I’m a bit of a technophobe). So wow! what great feedback that information is indeed power.
**
11. “ReWork” by Jason Fried& David Heinemeier Hansson
This is a great little book. I bought the hard copy because I couldn’t find an audio version, but it exists. That’s OK. I had it done in a day and the funky visuals the the start of each chapter add personality. The authors, founders of a very successful software company, talk straight and in a very down-to-earth manner about what they’ve learned along the way. I related much more to this book than to Richard Branson’s because theirs is a small company and that’s how they like it. They understand the financial realities of those starting a company and offer their own version of screw business as usual. They didn’t do it like the books / school say to do things, and it worked. I liked that.
That reminds me of several times when people were surprised at how quickly I had accomplished a project – be it my Spirit Calling Cards or curriculum development. Once inspiration descends upon you, and you mix that with discipline and focus, magic happens.
**
12. “Now, Discover Your Strengths” by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton & “Strengths Finder 2.0″ by Tom Rath
The one book on Marie Forleo’s recommended list that I hadn’t immediately purchased was “Now, Discover Your Strengths”. The reason? I read the book and took the test about a decade ago. It was totally life-enhancing and I recommend it to anyone!
I loved how it focused on the importance of developing your strengths instead of becoming a well-rounded person who was mediocre at everything (my words, not theirs). I’m such a fan of self-awareness tools and completely resonated with the unique profile it came up with for me. I even remember handing part of the results to my employers – it was an itemized list of my strengths and how best to lead me as an employee. It totally made sense.
This week, I downloaded a free 12-page summary of the book from this website.
I had to chuckle at this quote – it’s what many spiritual advisers say as well.
I decided to take the test again online for $19.95 USD (since I didn’t have the code at the back of the book). There are 177 questions and you have 20 seconds to choose between paired descriptors (about 35 minutes). Great stuff! Based on Gallup research, the authors developed 34 dominant “themes of human talent”, or strengths (talent + knowledge + skill). Based on our online test results, we’re given our top 5 themes out of 33 million possible combinations, and several tools on how to use our new-found information and how these work as a group. Although they say a few may change if you take the test again at a future time, they were probably all part of your top 10.
Test results: This isn’t the exact list I got 10 years ago, but the feel is similar. I’ll admit, my first reaction upon reading my list was: “I sound so boring – serious and boring!” I know I was comparing myself to all I’ve been exposed to in the past couple of weeks. I’m afraid I don’t fit the entrepreneurial bill…
This is what I got this time: Discipline, Achiever, Responsibility, Learner, Deliberative. Ten years ago, I remember I had Focus, Fairness, Empathy. The other two were probably part of this group. The list of action steps and descriptors are useful – and very very accurate. I certainly recognized myself in 99% of what they reported. The trick, according to them is seeing my perfectionist tendencies, for example, as a strength, not a weakness. They provide a few tips.
I’ll re-read their report again soon – although I’m sure I still won’t find “fun-loving, extrovert, go-with-the-flow, risk-taker ” on there. Don’t get me wrong …. I love myself – no use wanting to be someone else or comparing myself to others. My talents have been amazing gifts in my life and I’ve used them well. We’ll see how I can put them to work in bringing my art & inspiration to the next level.
Studio Sneak Peek: Yinning and Yanging
/in PaintingsStudio Sneak Peek: Love, Beauty, Mystery
/in PaintingsI worked on the drawing and stencil in my room while the repairs were being finished in my studio (new water pipes, ceiling, fresh paint). I knew I wanted the forms to be raised, like in a cameo, so I needed to cut the stencil in something thick. Unfortunately, the only large sheet of foam that I could get at Michaels was black (comes in a roll), which made tracing a bit tricky, but I managed with white transfer paper (which didn’t work very well on foam) and then a white paint marker. After that, I used an X-acto knife to cut it.
Apart from the central motif, I had nothing planned for this painting. I approached it similarly to how I describe the process in my Guide to Intuitive Painting.
This time I started with puddles of water and Golden High Flow acrylic colours. I just wanted to play. Layers and layers of play as I massaged and moved colour and loving energy onto the canvas.
I know I “waste” a lot of very expensive paint the way I do things, but letting go of all that is definitely part of the creative process.
Once that was dry (which took so long, even with the hairdryer), I added layers and layers and hours and hours of mark-making. This is a truly meditative practice that brings such a state of inner peace. It’s all about being right here, right now. No planning, no knowing where it’s all going – I rarely do. Intuitive painting is all about loving the mystery.
Last night, once the glaze was dry, I used a spatula knife to fill the stencil with 2 kinds of acrylic mediums. I used Light Molding Paste for her face and his hair and used Clear Granular Gel for his face and her hair. I then peeled it back to realize that leaving the mouth and space behind him empty weren’t a good idea. No worries, by this morning, the mediums were dry enough to put the stencil back on, and I filled those spaces with Glass Bead Gel.
I still have no idea where this is going, but that’s perfectly fine – it’s actually more fun that way. I’ve already had all sorts of ideas while rebounding on my mini-trampoline and looking at it. But I’ll wait until the mediums are dry before making any decisions. Although the molding paste will dry white, the granular gel and glass beads will be clearer (although I’ve never used them this thick before – we’ll see!). I ‘m having visions of pearl, gold, and dark blue, but I’m not committing to that yet.
Are you loving the mystery?
CLICK HERE FOR PART 2
Stoked on Quotes: A Journey Through 6 Entrepreneurial Books
/in Inspiration1. “Do the Work” by Steven Pressfield
I had to rewind and play that bit a few times – it tickled something deep down inside. I even wrote a brief email to Steven Pressfield to thank him for making a difference in my life – something I like to do. Little did I know at the time that he had also written another book on the list – “The War of Art” and the novel “The Legend of Bagger Vance” – I had just watched the movie the week before as part of my Waking Up to the Movies program. His insights on how we create obstacles for ourselves (one of the many things I’m good at 🙂 ) were very useful. By the way, he responded – “Thanks for that, Dominique. It’s great to be quoted! Seriously, thanks for the very kind words — and thanks to Marie Forleo too.”
**
2. “The E-Myth Revisited” by Michael Gerber
To say that I learned a lot about running a business from this book is an understatement. It was an eye opener that led to some useful questioning. In it, Gerber
That last point was the kicker for me. I realized that I’m mostly a technician (I like to do my art). Part of me just wants to be a hermit painting in my studio… and win the lottery so I can do that. Although I do have a strong manager in me, I’ll really need to awaken the entrepreneur inside if I want to make it as full-time artist in my own business. That’s why I’m in B-School. I’m already ahead of where I was last week.
**
3. “Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action” by Simon Sinek
I was familiar with Simon’s work. He gave a great TED Talk that I use with my ESL students. His main point is that “People don’t buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it.” It’s all about mission / purpose. That’s why Apple is such a success – no matter what kind of product or service they come out with.
Coming up with verbs for those values was a very valuable exercise for me. This is what is at the root of all I am. This is why I do what I do – my guiding principles.
Life by Design: Learning is Winning
/in Inspiration, Life By DesignAs you know, I signed up for Marie Forleo’s B-School on February 18th. Since then, I have been completely devoted to preparing for its March 9th official start by working through Marie’s preparation materials and list of recommended books. I’ve already learned so much – about entrepreneurship, life, and myself. With the studio still out of order (water pipes and ceiling were replaced) I brought my yoga mat and mini-trampoline to my bedroom and spent the WHOLE week listening, doing the work, exercising, and growing in so many ways. I’ve also been very active in the Facebook Mastermind group – learning from others, sharing, etc. Needless to say, my attention and intention were totally focused – and the energy is flowing big time!
On Friday, I was chosen one of Kris Carr’s Lucky 3 Winners. I don’t know how many people actually qualified, but she’s got over 4,300 people in her B-School Mastermind Group. To qualify, you had to register for Marie Forleo’s B-School through her affiliate link. This automatically gives you access to her 2 follow-up business training courses and work-life balance webinar after graduation. Then, you needed to promote the opportunity on Facebook. That was easy – I was so excited about it all. I was already sold on all B-School had to offer – now I would get to go deeper into the whole process with the internationally renown Kris Carr, a New York Times and #1 Amazon best-selling author, wellness activist and cancer thriver – the Sexy Crazy Wellness Revolution coach. Well, I’ve won! Once I graduate from Marie Forleo’s B-School and complete Kris Carr’s Spotlight Crash Course and Mastery program, her team will review all of my work (website, social media, video, etc.) and give me one-on-one coaching via Skype. Wow! I’m the kind of learner who needs that kind of specific feedback, as I’m a bit of a technophobe and easily get – rewind…. got – overwhelmed by creating an online business. So Yay!
Learning is Winning:
I was a winner even before getting that great news. With every prep task and every book, my knowledge and mindset expanded. I feel so much more confident and equipped than I did a week ago. I’m standing taller, thinking bigger, seeing clearer, and feeling better than I did when I started. My body, mind, and soul are rejoicing from the devotion to my path. My fears are dissipating, the possibilities are multiplying, and the signs are affirming. Now I’d say that pretty well describes a winner, wouldn’t you?
Where is Your Attention/ Intention?
Now I’m not saying that you need to drop everything and obsessively dive into something the way I do. That’s great for me and everything has aligned so that I can do that at this time in my life. I’ve been working on my career as an artist since 1989 though…
What I am saying is that it is true that where your attention and intention go, the energy flows.
What kind of energy is flowing your way these days? From what I’ve read, heard, and lived, that’s a reflection of your past intentions / attention.
Where is your attention now? Are you on course towards your life vision? Is it time to adjust your focus? Is it time to create new intentions?
There’s great power in learning more about your professional field, personal interests, your Self, etc. There are also many ways to learn – life, mentorship, courses, etc. What’s right for you? Where would you like energy to flow?
Your thoughts and reflections are welcome – feel free to comment below.
Life by Design: Committing to Passion
/in Inspiration, Life By DesignWhat are you passionate about?
If money and time weren’t issues, what would you be doing? or not doing?
Are you taking the necessary steps to bring more passion into your life?
Committing to your passions goes hand in hand with simplifying your life. It’s about identifying what’s important to you and eliminating everything else. It’s about committing your time and finances to what fuels you. Sure, this may mean lovingly saying “no thank you” to many of the demands, requests, invitations, expectations, social norms, etc. that come your way. It also means saying YES! to truly living life – especially once the basic physiological and safety needs are met (as per Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs).
Committing to your passions – whether that means scheduling time for a weekend soccer game with friends, devoting time every day for reading, or going back to school to change careers – is also about loving yourself enough to be true to who you are, no matter how quirky or risky that may seem to others. So no matter if your passion is creativity, raising children, tango dancing, clock mechanisms, ant colonies, sky diving, quantum physics, skiing, traveling, writing, or statistical analysis, you’re worth it.
What benefits would you gain from reconnecting to some of your passions?
How would it benefit others?
Following What Calls You:
Many passions make great hobbies and don’t require huge financing (reading vs. race car driving for example.) Some passions lead to great careers and require much more in terms of finances, time, and risk-taking. If you’re a multi-passionate person, the challenge may be figuring out what passions to focus on at various times in your life, which to keep as hobbies, and which to combine into a business. That’s been my path. What’s really cool is seeing how delving into each one has made me who I am today and helped me build the skills/knowledge/experience I need to materialize this Life by Design.
A Passion-Filled Business Model:
As you can see, I’m a multi-passionate Creative. That’s part of why I’ve had a hard time coming up with a business model over the years. I love a lot of things and can be equally satisfied behind the camera in nature as in the studio painting! I’m at a point now, however, that I want to have a cohesive business in which I can give and receive more generously. I need to figure out what to put together in my business model to give me the time and location freedom my passions require, with unlimited potential for income while living a simple life- all that while having local and global impact. Figuring that out is what I had set as my intention for the year.
I’ve already talked to you about registering for 6 half days of training over a six-week period starting in March with NLOWE (Newfoundland and Labrador Organization of Women Entrepreneur). Well, it turns out that is just the beginning.
My Big Decision:
Last week, a friend of mine sent me the intro videos to Marie Forleo’s B-School, which starts on March 9th. It’s an internationally renown 8-week super intensive online business/ marketing course (with lifetime access to materials) to fuel higher profits and higher purpose. I had gone through her videos and got all excited about B-School a year ago, but I was still in Vienna and my plate was deliciously full with art school. At the time, I had told myself “maybe next year”. My memory being what it is, however, I forgot about it. I’m so glad my Guiding Spirits have a better memory than I do! They worked through my friend and within 24 hours of her email, I had invested $2,500 ($1,999US) in what will be a life-changer for me and my business, I’m sure. Here’s how I started my reply to my friend that morning: “Yikes! Hee Hee! OMG! Why not?! Yes! Thank you!”
I’ve seen what this program has done for others (many whose free online summits have provided me with hundreds of hours of inspiring podcasts), and so I was totally ready to commit. I’ve also witnessed Marie’s spirit, integrity, and authenticity through countless inspirational videos on Marie TV – she truly is a big-hearted creative. Fun too!
I’m fully confident that this program will help me thrive as I find clarity, create a professional website that sells, develop a communication plan, get more traffic, develop products and services that inspire and empower, and then market them -one pillar at a time.
Very exciting times! As Marie says:
I’m open to that!
How would your life be different if you committed to your passions?
(if you haven’t already)
Believe me, you’re worth it and the world deserves it – whether it’s finding more time for your hobbies or committing to turning your passions into your career.
