My week in the Eye of the Spirit Visionary Art painting group with Philip Rubinov Jacobson, Mantra Cora, and Wolfgang Widmoser is over. It’s been quite the week with lots of highlights and lowlights. I’ve decided to share both as they’re all part of MY story. I’m sure it was different for everyone.  I don’t regret choosing to attend half this workshop, but I was ready to leave this morning.

There’s a lot to say after a week of not blogging. I also didn’t take many photos of the workshop and participants –  luckily, Ashley Christudason, one of my classmates, was really into taking pictures and graciously allowed me to use some of his for my blog. I’ve identified those sections.

Arjana Bungalows 2 & Neighbourhood:

For $18-20/ night, this place is a good deal. Sure, the rooms lack the charm of my other locations (any charm, really), but it’s got its pluses:

• nice big swimming pool for daily dips– I liked the occasional floating limes and frangipani flowers from the abundant trees around it.
  
  

  
• spacious rooms with floor space for yoga, good fans, and laundry racks on the veranda. I didn’t mind the old stained and shredded bed linen, but wasn’t fond of the musty towels, even when freshly replaced. Interestingly, unlike other places in Bali that ask you not to flush your toilet paper, this place only has one garbage outside the cabin, so there’s really no option but to flush. It felt strange after 3 weeks of not doing so (unless I forgot, that is … especially in the middle of the night).

• nice big breakfasts – since I don’t like eggs unless well hidden, I had their banana pancakes in honey syrup and fruit salad every morning. Delicious! – not ayurvedically recommended, but delicious!   I didn’t get my usual earaches from these bananas and actually found them quite delicious after years of not enjoying bananas. Actually, my tummy was quite happy until this morning when things weren’t quite…. normal. That could very well have to do with the fact that I accidentally drank the water for our paint brushes (stored in normal water bottles that I distractedly left on my table, where my own drinking water with electrolytes usually is).  After a few sips, it dawned on me that it didn’t have the usual lemon flavour, and so I went to my room to take a double dose of grapefruit seed extract.  Perhaps 2 doses of that and 2 doses of acidophiles could have had that effect too.  Anyhow, they tell me their water is well water and should be OK.  It may be even better than the big tank of drinking water at reception that comes out of a very dirty mossy tap…  Whatever the case, I’m fine now – I hope.

• the staff knows your name and although they don’t all speak English, they’re friendly and helpful.  The owner/manager? wasn’t too friendly though – more on that later.

• the breakfast room (open pavilion) that we took over as a studio was very conducive to painting, even during storms (loved those).  I confirmed that I enjoy working on the floor or tables much more than on an easel.  That pavilion is also the only location for wi-fi, when it’s working. My computer wouldn’t hook up to it though after the first day for some strange reason, so that helped me relax on the blogging and picture-taking and be more present to paint;

•  Arjana 2’s location next to the rice fields was ideal – my occasional morning walks nourished my eyes and soul. All that green!

1. Early in the morning, I would get to see some of the locals working in their fields and picking coconuts (you have to be hyper-vigilant though because if you don’t see the men climbing the trees or hear them rustling up there, you may get a nasty surprise when branches and coconuts start falling from the sky. That could kill you! I also now understand how one of the men who was cremated last week (see a previous blog)could have fallen out of a tree. Seeing them climb barefoot, with or without a makeshift rope around their ankles, is quite amazing).
   
   

   

   

   

   

   
2. I finally got to see a duck! Sounds strange, but I had been wanting to all week. From our studio, we could hear a whole bunch of them in the rice field across the way, but I never saw them. One morning I stood on a path, listening to them quack away and splash in the water of the rice fields, looking at the green stalks swoosh back and forth, until finally, one poked out to go to the next row and disappeared again. Yay! Mission accomplished!
   
   

   
3. On the last morning of class, I recruited Shia, one of my classmates, to help me with a photo shoot project. I wanted to participate in Kaliyana Artwear’s Facebook travelogue, and so I put on her anti-suit and went strolling through the rice fields. I’ve worn Kaliyana clothing for over 20 years and have 8 pieces with me on this trip, so it would have been a shame not to do so. Hundreds of photos later (all before 7:30am) and a few near-falls into the wet paddies, I have a few that I’ll submit. Thanks Shia! Oh – can you find the blooper?
   
   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

• Although at the end of Kajeng Jalan road, away from main city roads, it’s not as quiet as it first appeared last Sunday when I wrote my last blog. The noise level went on boost as of 8am on Monday. Luckily, I’d been up for hours, but if you like to sleep in and are considering Arjana Bungalows 2, be aware. First, there was the megaphone announcements somewhere nearby. Next there’s an open-air school pavilion right next door and the children were being worked through drills and songs with great enthusiasm. Then, there was the constant stream of motorcycles revving up the little hill right below our classroom. After the true quietness of my other 3 retreats, this was very noticeable. Not a huge deal though. If you’re a good sleeper or higher up in the resort, that won’t be a problem. I could still hear the natural concert of creatures morning and night – something I’m sure to miss when I leave Bali.

• There are lots of little restaurants nearby on the small road to town. Cheap too – finally the $2-3 meals I had read about. The quality plummeted, however, when we ordered take-out for lunch from some of them and had it delivered to the classroom. Suddenly, Roda’s rice noodles were dry and without any vegetables …so sad. Packaging was always intriguing.  Some ordered juice, which came in a plastic bag, same as curries that you would pour over the rice on the banana leaf on a paper stapled at the top.  The whole dine-in experience was simply better.  Still, I admired, their efforts to not use too much plastic.  When we got one in Styrofoam, that didn’t feel so great either.  Ah, there’s no pleasing foreigners.  🙂

• Close to downtown: After a few days, however, I got bored of eating nearby and going to bed at 7 or 8pm. I decided to venture out since we finished at 4 instead of 6pm. It’s only about a 5-10 minute walk to the end of the street where the noise, traffic, and people of downtown Ubud are plainly evident. Our bungalows are well situated that way. Wow! So many taxi drivers and vendors wanting your business! I had avoided the busy-ness of the city for most of the month, so it was interesting to explore, once I was in the mood. The market was nearby and so many shops. I only went into one to buy a token Bali souvenir clothing item – a black and green dress bargained down to $10 – in a pattern I’d seen before and found very attractive. Love it! That was enough shopping for me. On Wednesday, I wanted to walk back before dark because even though there are sidewalks in places here, they’re quite treacherous. The sewer grates every 10 steps are big enough for your foot to go through, if the grate is there at all. Then there are the gaping holes between lifting tiles, etc. I saw a few tourists on crutches and wondered if they’d injured themselves simply walking around. Crossing the street is even trickier – especially if you forget that they drive on the opposite side than in North America and can be 5 deep on what you think is a 2-lane street. The next night, I decided I was awake enough to join the group for a later dinner, but no one in town seemed to know the restaurant by name. So I let go of any attachment of finding them and just wandered the streets, following my intuition, and ended up being the first one there. We had a nice dinner together and I walked home with one of the girls while most of the others went out dancing and drinking, as they did most nights. I prefer getting up early to do some yoga, swim, or walk in the rice fields. There’s lots of options no matter if you’re an early bird or a night owl here in Ubud.
  
  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

EYE OF THE SPIRIT:

Let’s start with the great.

I’m so glad that I was able to ease into this group after they had already been together for a week. Arriving on Sunday and socializing with a few was a good thing as people were focused on their work on Monday and it would have been quite different had I met everyone then. There were some very lovely beings in this group creating some very beautiful and powerful work. I am grateful I could be a witness to all that.

I’m also actually amazed with what I created. I wouldn’t have been able to do so had I not had 6 months learning the Mischtechnik at the Vienna Academy of Visionary Art. That’s for sure!  Because of the short time and the heat and humidity, we used several coats of underpainting in acrylics and then only the final glazing in oils and final highlights in tempera. I had planned to do the whole thing in acrylics to see how it compares since that’s what I’d like to keep working with once I get home. By the end, however, Phil and Ashley gave me some of their oils so I could try those out. I was repeatedly told that we just can’t achieve the same results with acrylics. I may convert to oils after all. I reserve the right to make that decision later. The idea of doing just one layer of oils instead of all of them with long waiting periods in between is already more attractive. We’ll see.

Here’s what I did on Day 1.

1 –used a sketch I had designed in Vienna as my starting point.
2 – used pencil to draw it on my gesso board and then waterproof blue ink on top.
3 – used carmine red and a bit of burnt umber acrylic paint with medium and water to do a wash on top – 3 coats in different directions.
4 – used white acrylic paint to put in the highlights.

5 – got Philip Rubinov to help me correct the raccoon eye…. (notice that I got rid of the second one behind some hair? I couldn’t get it to work freehand).

6- used a primary yellow acrylic wash to glaze the whole thing.

7- went back in with the whites.
8 – used burnt umber to do the shadows.
9. Used whites and darks with my fingers to apply texture to the background.

Here’s what I did during the next 4 days:

I did as much as I could on my main painting in the first 3 days for it to dry on time to take away. There’s still more I could do with the hand and face to bring back the highlights I lost with my oil glaze. I’m not sure I remember all the steps as I didn’t take notes after Day 1 (I really let go of blogging), but I applied washes of acrylic colour on everything. Then I did a glaze in oils to feel the difference… not convinced yet. Philip then sat down with me to show me how to use oils on the veil in a way that I’ll admit, wouldn’t be possible with acrylics. Philip really knows his stuff and I definitely learned from him during our short chats.  I also got a glimpse of how good his how-to lessons could be, especially if delivered a little slower.  He gave a quick lesson on how to draw a face for the whole group, after I requested it. It added to what I had learned from all the others I had made the same request to.  I was just glad that everyone else also encouraged him to slow down.

Phil Rubinov Jacobson

I also finished my 2 other abstract paintings after a couple of days of working on them before and during group time. One changed a lot – I liked it better a few layers back, but am glad I dove in and tried some of the techniques Mantra had demonstrated, even if they didn’t quite work on my already very textured grounds.

Bali Showers:

As Yet Unamed – any suggestions?

In addition to her demonstrations, Mantra shared her knowledge on Max Ernst through a Power Point presentation – similar yet different to the one I had heard in Austria. Although what she demonstrated wasn’t new for me, it was a great reminder.  Mostly,  it was wonderful to witness some of the other students light up at the freedom of expression possible in this less traditional way of using fluid acrylic paint. Mantra was definitely the go-to person for abstract grounds. She also had an amazing smile that came out through her eyes. These photos are all by Ashley.

As for Wolfgang, he was great to consult on colour. Although I didn’t resonate with his way of delivering information – philosophical and technical monologues without any visual examples – he was helpful when presented with specific questions about a painting in progress and was key to some of the decisions I made for my more abstract pieces. He’s obviously a wealth of knowledge, artistic skills, and spiritual journeying – he’s a very valued mentor to Katia, so I know there’s so much more than what I experienced during our few short hours together.  He provided an abundance of links to videos and other resources on our Facebook group – I look forward to exploring some of those in the upcoming months. By the way, he studied with Ernst Fuchs and Salvador Dali, so definitely connected to my world in Vienna. I’m sorry I missed the visit to his studio the week before.

Last Day:

On our last day, we had a friendly constructive feedback session. The artist would walk away for a while and we discussed the strong points of their work and things that could be stronger. One person would record the comments and then report them anonymously upon the artist’s return. This was done very well and turned out to be very helpful. I got a lot of feedback on my voice/delivery, a reminder that I would enjoy voice acting …  something to look into again when I get back to St. John’s.

Most people weren’t finished their pieces and so these comments will no doubt help in their process. Some of my painting buddies had been there for 5 weeks. Most had only been there for 2.  Some only showed up occasionally. Some worked late nights and early mornings in addition our days together. So everyone had work at different stages and we shared it all during our feedback session.  My iPhone didn’t do a great job with these photos, but it will give you an idea of the variety of styles and expertise. Some had been drawing/painting their whole lives while one participant painted for the first time in this workshop. I was definitely impressed by these artists!  Although I was only there for a week, I could easily see that our program was well suited for artists of all levels.  You could get as much or as little as you wanted from it – depending how dedicated you were to your work and how proactive you were in seeking help and advice. Overall, people seemed quite happy with their time here.

Elisa Corcoran

After clean-up, we all went to a really fancy dinner with open pavilions overlooking small rice paddies – the Dirty Duck Diner. The food wasn’t very good and quite inconsistent (between folks who ordered the same thing). Their prices were expensive, but the atmosphere was superb. I went home right after, at 10pm, while the others went dancing and drinking at what they called the mushroom bar.

Alas, some lowlights:

The reasons I experienced challenges this week with external factors is that I’ll admit, I’m too sensitive. I take a lot in and need to learn to remain in a state of equanimity despite my environment. That is my lesson. For once, however, my difficulties had nothing to do with my internal art learning process. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m more mellow after 3 weeks in Bali or if it’s because I wasn’t attached to the results – but I worked quickly, loosely, and without the usual psychological baggage around drawing. Yay! There’s progress.

Still, I experienced definite challenges.  As an events organizer by background, the contrast between my week here and my week with Flora Bowley was significant and started before I arrived, highlighting my own preferences.  For example, I found it inconvenient to have to hunt for and bring a long list of supplies (many of which simply couldn’t be found in Vienna, adding to my pre-travel stress). Flora charged us more, but I didn’t have to deal with any of those logistics during my very busy weeks before arriving to Bali – which overall felt much easier). I understand the reasoning behind both approaches, but the differences in my experiences is helping me identify what works for me.

There were much bigger issues than that though, some of which were in the control of the organizers and some not.

•   Environmental Discomfort: almost everyone in the group chain-smoked – a real shock to my system after 3 weeks with almost zero exposure. This week, however, I became a smoker – there was just no getting away from it. I also witnessed ashes falling on other people and on/near artwork. I’d say I did pretty well under those circumstances – didn’t let it affect me too much after the first day. In fact, I chose not to say anything about it – my choice.  I figured the comfort of the majority was more important and, having joined half way, it was up to me to adapt.  There was also alcohol in the studio – but I’m in no position to say if that helped or harmed. It was just different.

• Dramatic events in our creative space:  I’m so used to my studio being a positive sacred place for personal and spiritual growth – something that was continued in Vienna and also in Flora’s workshop. All the drama and negativity here were hard to handle (although also useful for my growth, I’m sure).

1. It started on Monday when one poor gal collapsed after spending the previous day doing water sports and suffering what she thought was hypothermia – she was helped back to her cabin for the day. Thankfully, she returned the next day healthy and strong. This is where being so empathic doesn’t serve me… the drama was in me – I recognize that.
2. Then, there was some talk about a participant who suddenly left half way through  (before I arrived). I purposefully kept my curiosity out of it – none of my business, but it made me aware of tension and gossip.  Other personality conflicts became apparent towards the end of our week together – again, hard for me to witness as I feel too much for all involved.  Fortunately, the overall feeling between participants was loving and harmonious. Wonderful bunch!
3. Also on Monday, while we were attempting to get into the flow of painting, there was a lot of business dealings being conducted in the studio, including conflicts between the organizers and the hotel manager about money, rooms, etc. This was followed by lots of complaining between the various organizers.  At one point, it looked like we were about to be evicted from the studio. It was done relatively quietly, but next to me. Being a context dependent learner, I couldn’t tune it out as it went on for hours. I should have brought my earphones. From my overly sensitive point of view, it was ugly – right in the midst of our creative space. I wished they had done so out of the studio. I had been so spoiled (ie sheltered) in previous weeks that the negativity and questionable business practices in my new home were surprising. At one point, I just left my station and had to sweep myself energetically, only to find another girl doing exactly the same thing. This led to a beautiful conversation and a change in the energy.
4. The week ended the way it started with more conflicts to do with organizational issues that I won’t get into here. I just hope all works well for everyone in the end because it sure was uncomfortable while I was there and I hear the story isn’t over.  Indeed, I pray it all gets resolved quickly and smoothly.

As part of this story, I learned about the seedier side of Bali. I learned about Kuta-cowboys. I couldn’t help but be a little curious this time.  It turns out that one of the participants from the previous group had been dating a local Balinese who had tried to blackmail our organizers. From what I was told, Kuta cowboys are men who displace their wives to other villages while they basically service foreign women, taking them into their villages and families. Everywhere they go (shops, restaurants, etc.), they get a cut of the profits as commission. This one turned out to be really abusive and crazy. I didn’t want all the details, and tried not to imagine them. He tried to blackmail our organizers though and threatened them.  This could have led to some of the trouble still affecting them.  This is certainly a side of Bali I hadn’t seen or heard about before. Kuta is the big party beach town that I’d been warned repeatedly to avoid – also where there was a terrorist attack a few years back.  Not my kind of scene, as you may have guessed.

Fortunately, I’m now at another beach town near the airport that doesn’t appear to have Kuta’s bad rap or crowds and am not in the market for a Bali cowboy.  I’ll write about my new home later. I’m sure this is enough for one post.

If nothing else, writing about both my highlights and lowlights has helped me process my week.  Again, I don’t regret my decision. I was meant to experience all of this. This blog is just as much my journal as anything else – authentic in all my human-ness.   Obviously, I’ve got so much further to go to live harmoniously and with equanimity in this world. If I had reached a state of pure unconditional love, nothing would phase me. I would not re-act or experience fear in the presence of conflict.  I’m not there yet.  It is still my intention though.  Indeed, this is all part of my process of exploring and expressing my love of beauty and the beauty of love…

More photos by Ashley:

Tessa’s doodling – amazing!

Katia

Anisha & Phil

Mantra and I

Phil and Divya

Shia’s

Tessa and Divya

Tessa’s

Karin

Elisa’s

Mantra by Phil

Phil by Mantra

Tessa